Many people forget that dining skills are as much a part of the business toolkit as negotiating skills.
by Louisa Nedkov |
The mood is formal. The table setting is impeccable. The menu is flawless. And the dignitary next to you is happily devouring your dinner roll. Add to this the discomfort of discovering your napkin has, seemingly under its own volition, abandoned you for the lure of the other side of the table and you start to realize the practical importance of basic dining etiquette.
You may be dressed in the most current fashions, wield conversation with the grace of a deft swordsman, and possess the charm to capture the hearts of the entire congregation. However, your professional image can easily be tarnished by amateur dining skills.
Knowing how to eat is every bit as important as knowing what to eat, especially if you are in (or wish to be in) a position that commands respect. Many people forget that dining skills are as much a part of the business toolkit as negotiating skills. In fact, in the global scheme of things, more deals are solidified over the dinner table than the boardroom table.
The cross-cultural nature of business has made the question of what fork to use kid’s stuff when compared to the intricacies of chopstick handling, the subtleties of international toasting protocol and the understanding of local unwritten dining etiquette.
To avoid making an embarrassing faux-pas at your next business or social event, consider the following tips:
The significance of seating…
Knowing when and where to sit is an important cultural dining matter. In China, for example, seating patterns follow seniority. The guest of honour is seated at the head of the room facing the door. In Malaysia, however, the guest will be seated at the head of the table or to the host’s immediate right. Your host will most likely indicate your place at the table before sitting down. If no such clue is offered, take the seat closest.
The first bite…
In general, wait for the host to take the first bite before following suit. In some countries – Laos and South Korea come to mind – the eldest or most respected table guest will often initiate the meal. If you happen to be older than the host, this honour may be offered to you.
Napkin knowledge…
As a rule, completely unfold your napkin and keep it on your lap throughout the meal. If you have to excuse yourself, put the napkin on your chair, never on the table. Other dinner guests would rather not be faced with a used napkin while they eat. Only when the meal is over, is it appropriate to put a soiled napkin on the table.
Dinner is served…
Western-style table settings are pretty easy to navigate. The flatware order for each dish is selected from the outside edge, with utensils for each subsequent dish being selected moving towards your plate.
Chopsticks – the dining implement of choice in many Asian countries – can however pose a bit of a challenge. Practicing in the privacy of your own hotel room may be advisable. Improper handling can send food airborne, which can be potentially embarrassing, if not dangerous. Keep these “choptips” in mind:
- When not in use, chopsticks should be left on the chopstick rests provided. Do not set them parallel on top of your bowl (considered bad luck) or stick them in the rice bowl so they stand straight up (a symbol associated with a funeral ritual and synonymous with death).
- Try not to drop your chopsticks or cross them when placing them on the table. (again bad luck).
- You touch it, you take it. Once you’ve touched a piece of food in the serving dish, it’s yours. Even if you can’t retrieve it easily, leaving it is akin to leaving your guests with a “tasted” piece of food. Bad form…rude, too.
But not all Asians are chopstick diners. In Thailand and Indonesia, the place setting will feature forks and spoons. Unlike western applications, the spoon is held in the right hand, the fork in the left. The fork “pushes” food onto the spoon. Knives don’t usually factor in, as the food is usually served in bite-size pieces.
Clean the plate?
In some countries, cleaning your plate is considered impolite. Leaving a small amount sends the message that you consider your host to be so generous that you couldn’t possibly finish the meal. In other regions, leaving food on the plate can be considered wasteful, inconsiderate or indicate you didn’t like the food. Checking out the local protocol before hand can spare you from committing a serious dining crime.
The finishing flourish…
Placing western-style cutlery side by side on the rim of your plate in the 5:25 position (like the hands on a clock) tells a waiter you are through. The fork should be placed inside the knife (with the tines up or down) and the blade of the knife facing inward. Chopsticks should be retired to the chopstick stand. A fork and spoon combination requires you to place the fork (tines down) on the plate and the spoon (face down) across the fork.
Exiting in style…
When to leave the dinner table varies from country to country. In a country such as Pakistan, most socializing is done before the meal, with guests making an exit as soon as the meal is over. Yet in Brazil, socializing is considered even more important than the food. Staying around for at least an hour after dessert is considered hospitable.
A final word of advice: You are going to make mistakes – it’s human nature and even more “natural” when dealing with cultural intricacies spanning hundreds, if not thousands, of years. Keep your sense of humour and discretion. Don’t get defensive. Admitting you have made a mistake and expressing a willingness to learn and “get it right” shows that you really do care and respect the ways of other cultures. Sending the signal that you understand, respect and admire cultural subtleties – even in something as seemingly simple as eating – can assist you in bridging gaps which may have, at one time, seemed insurmountable.
 |
| Louisa Nedkov, The Energy Coach, works with individuals and companies to increase their performance and productivity. Drawing upon her background in nutrition, fitness, behavioral kinesiology, and positive psychology, along with her experience in both the corporate world and as an entrepreneur, she understands the challenges of staying positive and productive in a stressed-out, wired-up world.
|
|
